Have you ever been discouraged?
Experiencing discouragement is a normal part of being human. We get discouraged by the actions and words of others. We also get discouraged by our own failings and shortcomings. Maybe you are walking with someone – a friend, a counsellee, a loved one – who is discouraged. Maybe as you are reading this, you feel discouraged right now. Whatever your situation might be, I think it’s fair to say that we could all use some more encouragement.
The Downward Spiral of Discouragement
Someone disappoints us, we read another devastating headline, we get a painful phone call, or we fall into the trap of habitual sin once more – life on this earth does not go the way we expect. When these things happen, it is all too easy to just throw up our hands and say: “I can’t take it anymore!” “What’s the point?” “Why even bother?” If we are not careful, discouragement can callous our hearts towards others, and especially towards God. If we allow it, discouragement can lead to despair, and ultimately disbelief.
Listen to the words of the author of Hebrews:
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”
Hebrews 3:12-15
The people of Israel were discouraged. All they knew was slavery in Egypt – a life of hard living with no rest. The were oppressed, beaten down, and hopeless. With a mighty display of His power and love, God stepped in and released the Israelites from bondage. It’s arguably the most significant event in the Old Testament, and a foreshadowing of the greater salvation provided through Christ. But, freedom didn’t look the way the Israelites expected. Out in the desert, discouragement quickly set in. They wanted a home, they wanted rest, and they were thirsty and hungry. God provided and God promised, but they quickly forgot His goodness (Ex. 16; Num. 11). Before long their discouragement led to despair and bitterness, and that despair ultimately turned into disbelief and rebellion. Their punishment would be 40 years of wandering in the desert.
The Warning
The writer of Hebrews offers us a warning. Sin is deceitful. When life’s circumstances or our own failures discourage us, we are tempted to turn inward, looking for ways to self-preserve or point fingers (the Israelites even blamed God for their predicament!). We can struggle to see past the immediate situation and quickly forget the ways God has been faithful. We might hear the faint voice of God, but instead choose to ‘harden our hearts’ against Him.
This can happen to us in subtle ways that we may immediately not recognize. Maybe it starts with a lack of motivation to spend time in God’s Word or in prayer. Maybe we fill our time with guilty pleasures that offer temporary escape. Maybe it grows into distancing ourselves from the Body of Christ. Or, in rebellion towards God, we turn back to the sins that left us discouraged in the first place.
Softening the Heart
Thankfully, the writer of Hebrews does not end with the warning only – he also provides us with a way forward. In verse 13, he says, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”
Some translations use the word “encourage” instead of “exhort”, but I think the word “exhort” is the better term, as it means to “strongly encourage.” In the absence of strong encouragement, the fainthearted will quickly succumb to the pressures of the world, the stubborn will become more set in their ways, and the faithless will fall away from the living God. On the other hand, a strong encouragement from a brother or sister in Christ can soften our hardened hearts and help protect us from sin’s deceitfulness.
A Daily Exercise
Notice that the writer calls us to exhort daily. This is critical. For those of us who are counselors, friends, pastors, and leaders, we must heed the call to frequently encourage those around us (1 Thess. 5:14).
I have often been reminded of this as I counsel others. So often our counsel is reactive to the situation of the person we are sitting with. People reach out in times of crisis and need. In response to others’ pain, sin and suffering, we seek to offer the hope and comfort of the gospel of Christ. This is necessary. But there is also a proactive element to walking with others that is equally essential: the daily encouragement to press-on in the faith.
A quick phone call, text, email or handwritten note of encouragement can help a brother or sister raise their shield of faith against the flaming arrows of the enemy in the daily battle (Eph. 6:16). Even if things are going well, the encouragement of a fellow Christian can be soul-nourishing.
A Word to the Discouraged
As I said at the beginning, perhaps you are in the place of discouragement yourself, weighed down by the darkness. If that is the case, let me urge you to consider the love and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Whatever darkness you are experiencing, whether by the sins of others or your own, remember that Christ has already won (Heb. 4:14-16)! Turn to Him and allow the warmth of his love to soften your heart once again. He has not forsaken you.
It also may seem impossible to turn to others, but I strongly encourage you to seek out the fellowship of brothers and sisters who care for you. Don’t hide in the darkness for fear or for shame’s sake. Instead, step into the light so that you may be encouraged by those around you.
Reflection
If you are discouraged, take a moment to lift up that discouragement to the Lord in prayer. He wants to hear from you! Read Psalm 42 for guidance.
For those of us who are helpers: How can you begin to make daily encouragement a regular part of your ministry to others?
Curtis Heaton is the Executive Director of the Canadian Biblical Counseling Coalition. He also serves as the Student Care & Counselling Coordinator at Heritage College & Seminary. He has a Masters Degree in Theology and is a certified biblical counselor through the Association of Biblical Counselors. Curtis is married to Valerie and together they have three beautiful and energetic children.
A version of this post was originally posted on April 28, 2023 on the BCC Blog – it has been expanded and revised here.
